I once went to a *Mindfulness* weekend and a person asked the question: How can mindfulness help me to stop smoking? I manage to quite for a few weeks or months, then I end up starting again right where I left off. It's been like this for years.
The mindfulness leader made a simple statement: Your inability to quit smoking is because you have not made a conscious decision. Either you're a smoker, acknowledging the impact and damage that it's doing to you but being at peace with that, or you decide that you're a nonsmoker in which case you will take all possible steps to not smoke. Your indecision on this topic is why you're in a cycle of stopping and starting.
In some ways I feel it's the same way on my drinking. Should I be a weekend only drinker? Is Sunday ok? Or is Sunday ok if I don't drink on Friday? And on and on.
At the gym yesterday, the young manager, age 25 was struggling with her own routine. Only me and the other 40 year old lady were able to do it, a lot of core work, abs.
The instructor made a statement: "Too much drinking on the weekend, especially yesterday. I'm giving it up...until Friday."
K, the other 40 year old blurts out, "do you seriously drink every day?"
Instructor: "Well yes, but only moderately during the week, binge drinking on the weekend."
Granted she may still be in the student mentality as she just finished her degree in June. However I just want to smack her upside the head as the spare tire she's carrying around her middle would be so much easier to lose now than once she hits the middle age spread years.
So far, the gym is keeping me somewhat in check. I am struggling that there are no classes on Friday, Saturday or Sunday and I don't have a lot of activities to otherwise fill my time. I'm more motivated in a class than going solo on a treadmill or through the park. Once again I need to find a way to alleviate the boredom trigger as when my weekend is filled up with activities or I am the driver, then I'm not bothered about it.
Tuesday, 2 August 2016
Friday, 15 July 2016
Day 6
As mentioned earlier in the week, it's the going away evening of the gym's manager. I'll stop by the fizzy and nibbles pre party of the evening, one of my gym friends is hosting the gym's members to drop in to her high rise flat close to the gym, but I'm avoiding the main party that happens later.
I'm not avoiding due to the prevalence of alcohol or similar, it's more that I'm not much of a going out person, especially in a club atmosphere. The assistant manager set up the main party at a local club, it's £16.50 per person which includes a private table and the alcohol equivalent of 4 drinks per person with table service later.
The lady who is leaving has already said that she plans to get completely wasted, her son in law will be collecting her at the end of the evening.
The lady who is hosting the pre party said to me on the side, I may pop down for one drink, but to be honest I'm not really fond of crowds so that will be that.
I may test out the waters and have a glass of fizzy to see if I can stop at 2 glasses or I may not.
Overall I've been struggling with a ridiculous amount of tiredness this week. I did a mid month run of my numbers at the gym and they are all worse than at the beginning of the month, except for weight, which is down but only slightly.
Looking online a bit at athlete nutrition, I'm going to tweak the diet a bit in the coming days. Now that the alcohol has been out of my system for 5 days, I'm starting to get an idea of normalcy hunger in place of wine sugar. It seems that my calorie content in my almost vegan world has been too low to build muscle mass and this is where I am faltering due to the amount of gym work I'm doing. So getting more serious now on what exactly I'm eating and when.
Last night, OH was over after we finished the allotment. I haven't made a big deal out of not drinking but when he opened the fridge he noted that there were two wine bottles...the same two that had been there since Saturday! In the past I would have secretly have drank them and replaced like for like, but yes indeed, it was the same exact ones so I could nonchalantly (yet secretly proud), say, yep, there they be.
I'm not avoiding due to the prevalence of alcohol or similar, it's more that I'm not much of a going out person, especially in a club atmosphere. The assistant manager set up the main party at a local club, it's £16.50 per person which includes a private table and the alcohol equivalent of 4 drinks per person with table service later.
The lady who is leaving has already said that she plans to get completely wasted, her son in law will be collecting her at the end of the evening.
The lady who is hosting the pre party said to me on the side, I may pop down for one drink, but to be honest I'm not really fond of crowds so that will be that.
I may test out the waters and have a glass of fizzy to see if I can stop at 2 glasses or I may not.
Overall I've been struggling with a ridiculous amount of tiredness this week. I did a mid month run of my numbers at the gym and they are all worse than at the beginning of the month, except for weight, which is down but only slightly.
Looking online a bit at athlete nutrition, I'm going to tweak the diet a bit in the coming days. Now that the alcohol has been out of my system for 5 days, I'm starting to get an idea of normalcy hunger in place of wine sugar. It seems that my calorie content in my almost vegan world has been too low to build muscle mass and this is where I am faltering due to the amount of gym work I'm doing. So getting more serious now on what exactly I'm eating and when.
Last night, OH was over after we finished the allotment. I haven't made a big deal out of not drinking but when he opened the fridge he noted that there were two wine bottles...the same two that had been there since Saturday! In the past I would have secretly have drank them and replaced like for like, but yes indeed, it was the same exact ones so I could nonchalantly (yet secretly proud), say, yep, there they be.
Thursday, 14 July 2016
Day 5 postnasal drip gone
It ended up being 1.5 hours of gym classes last night. So much for my light day. I had only planned to do an hour of cardio but there was space in the weight class right after that so ended up staying on.
An interesting benefit that already appeared at day 3 but is definitely here still on day 5. I've been having an awful postnasal drip since December 2014. I know it goes back that far as I had a yucky flu on the way back to the States for Christmas (I live in the UK). So it appeared around the stopover in Iceland and lingered through my days off there.
Back to the UK in January it continued to persist. It was highly publicized this 'mega bug,' doctors were urging otherwise healthy adults to not bother to come into the office as it was a non-treatable condition and to let it runs its course of 8 weeks.
Around March I began to become concerned. A persistent cough is a sign of lung cancer, no? A friend's mom who was very healthy had a similar situation, she ended up dying three weeks after diagnosis. No other physical signs beyond the cough.
So I went to the nurse practitioner who told me that I was too young for lung cancer and to have more vitamins and rest. (She also told me I was too young for skin cancer but I proved her wrong on that one so I didn't really trust her track record.)
So the postnasal drip persisted, like that cough clearing sound that a teacher makes to naughty children as a warning. It flared up often while I was at the gym and moving about a lot, in the air conditioning.
When I stopped alcohol for a few days earlier, it magically stopped. All of this time I was trying to combat dust mites (also a common source of it), lessening dairy (said to reduce mucous production) or assuming it was part of genetics and aging as it plagued my 90+ year old grandma consistently.
Nope, based on it tying into the removal of alcohol from my diet earlier and now, it seems to be this:
http://www.enttx.com/general-medical/why-postnasal-drip-is-not-always-caused-by-postnasal-drip
So days 4 and 5 and I have not had one little cough, not one throat clearing, despite having a bit of cheese and warm weather in the UK to kick up the pollen and potentially my hay fever.
Go figure.
An interesting benefit that already appeared at day 3 but is definitely here still on day 5. I've been having an awful postnasal drip since December 2014. I know it goes back that far as I had a yucky flu on the way back to the States for Christmas (I live in the UK). So it appeared around the stopover in Iceland and lingered through my days off there.
Back to the UK in January it continued to persist. It was highly publicized this 'mega bug,' doctors were urging otherwise healthy adults to not bother to come into the office as it was a non-treatable condition and to let it runs its course of 8 weeks.
Around March I began to become concerned. A persistent cough is a sign of lung cancer, no? A friend's mom who was very healthy had a similar situation, she ended up dying three weeks after diagnosis. No other physical signs beyond the cough.
So I went to the nurse practitioner who told me that I was too young for lung cancer and to have more vitamins and rest. (She also told me I was too young for skin cancer but I proved her wrong on that one so I didn't really trust her track record.)
So the postnasal drip persisted, like that cough clearing sound that a teacher makes to naughty children as a warning. It flared up often while I was at the gym and moving about a lot, in the air conditioning.
When I stopped alcohol for a few days earlier, it magically stopped. All of this time I was trying to combat dust mites (also a common source of it), lessening dairy (said to reduce mucous production) or assuming it was part of genetics and aging as it plagued my 90+ year old grandma consistently.
Nope, based on it tying into the removal of alcohol from my diet earlier and now, it seems to be this:
http://www.enttx.com/general-medical/why-postnasal-drip-is-not-always-caused-by-postnasal-drip
So days 4 and 5 and I have not had one little cough, not one throat clearing, despite having a bit of cheese and warm weather in the UK to kick up the pollen and potentially my hay fever.
Go figure.
Wednesday, 13 July 2016
Day 4
Made it through Day 3 yesterday but started to hit the absolute exhaustion stage. Three gym classes yesterday. I realize a lot of people turn to non-alcohol sources of sugar such as cake, chocolate and fizzy drinks but I haven't had these things in year so not planning to start now or even craving them either.
Realizing the mix of high intensity exercise, the removal of daily wine and the alomost vegan diet is having a huge impact. Last time I faltered around this time as I hit a sugar low before realizing I was headed toward it and then decided to mitigate with a glass of wine. Not making that mistake again.
This go round I am logging everything on myfitnesspal. It's been a big help as a reminder of how and when to eat. When I was a proper vegan before, I found myself eating every two hours, little meals but high density filling ones, such as porridge for breakfast. While I am feeling great with a salad for lunch, I'm slightly breaking with the vegan convention and adding tuna to it as otherwise I'm struggling to eat enough calories without turning to pure carbs.
I've never been a big carb eater, e.g. potatos or white rice. While I'll have a few bites, I see them more as a complement to a meal rather than a main part of it. Plus it seems that sugar aspect of them does me in, I don't seem to digest them well and end up crashing, needing a nap and my downstairs plumbing ends up clogged the next day.
Today is my light day at the gym, two classes in the evening then a work call at night so no wine worries for today. The two bottles from the weekend are still in the fridge.
Tomorrow is date night but we need to get down to the allotment so won't make it back before 7 PM so that will be fine.
Friday may be a planned break, there's a get together as the gym manager is leaving. However, I've committed not to go to the planned outing (8:30 PM until potentially 2 AM) but instead will go to the drinks and nibbles pre party that one of the other members is doing at her house. Hearing the people that are going, it's more my crowd anyway.
Although I may offer to make nonalcoholic cocktails instead and continue my streak. Weight loss is continuing to head in the right direction and holding steady in the 56 kilo range.
Realizing the mix of high intensity exercise, the removal of daily wine and the alomost vegan diet is having a huge impact. Last time I faltered around this time as I hit a sugar low before realizing I was headed toward it and then decided to mitigate with a glass of wine. Not making that mistake again.
This go round I am logging everything on myfitnesspal. It's been a big help as a reminder of how and when to eat. When I was a proper vegan before, I found myself eating every two hours, little meals but high density filling ones, such as porridge for breakfast. While I am feeling great with a salad for lunch, I'm slightly breaking with the vegan convention and adding tuna to it as otherwise I'm struggling to eat enough calories without turning to pure carbs.
I've never been a big carb eater, e.g. potatos or white rice. While I'll have a few bites, I see them more as a complement to a meal rather than a main part of it. Plus it seems that sugar aspect of them does me in, I don't seem to digest them well and end up crashing, needing a nap and my downstairs plumbing ends up clogged the next day.
Today is my light day at the gym, two classes in the evening then a work call at night so no wine worries for today. The two bottles from the weekend are still in the fridge.
Tomorrow is date night but we need to get down to the allotment so won't make it back before 7 PM so that will be fine.
Friday may be a planned break, there's a get together as the gym manager is leaving. However, I've committed not to go to the planned outing (8:30 PM until potentially 2 AM) but instead will go to the drinks and nibbles pre party that one of the other members is doing at her house. Hearing the people that are going, it's more my crowd anyway.
Although I may offer to make nonalcoholic cocktails instead and continue my streak. Weight loss is continuing to head in the right direction and holding steady in the 56 kilo range.
Monday, 11 July 2016
Chasing Thursday awesomeness
A slightly restless night of sleep but overall a good start to the morning. Glad to have skipped the wine last night as it's a lunchtime of circuits and weight training following by evening run club.
My gym is currently the main thing keeping me on the straight and narrow. I'm not much of an outdoors runner on the best of days so I struggle on good days to keep up. Circuits is my cup of tea, throw me a mixed bag of burpees, tuck jumps and a variety of cardio and resistence and I'm happy as a clam. Weight training really isn't my thing but I had good physical results last go round when I threw it into the mix so I'm keeping it in, especially as it's right after circuits.
Thursday's instructor Laura is the epitome of what one expects from a fitness instructor: smiley, bubbly, bouncy, in top shape with lots of positive shouting and a dash of 'woo!'. I do an hour at lunchtime with her and have started to throw in an hour in the evening classes to get me over the 5 to 7 PM bridge.
The last time I went on an extended alcohol free stretch, I was doing well on the eating front also. It came up on a Thursday and feeling all sweaty and hitting it hard and I actually felt great. Not struggling to sweat out a hangover but full of energy and power, feeling lighter as I had just shed 2 kilos.
So this feeling is what I'm driving toward this week.
So run club tonight, I may stay on for Zumba after with Laura if there is space as that will get me past 7 PM by the time I get home and eat dinner. Tuesday will be another sporty day, so another reason to stay off it tonight.
Wednesday is normally date night but my work set up an 8 PM meeting. I am strict on avoiding prior to work calls. I try to avoid night calls but working for a US multinational while living in Europe, some are inevitable. A new regular call is starting up for a new project on Tuesdays at 9 PM starting next week. In some ways that one will be a mixed blessing as that will take care of my Tuesday evenings.
So Monday and Wednesday should be easy nights this week, just Tuesday to step over on the way to Thursday awesomeness.
My gym is currently the main thing keeping me on the straight and narrow. I'm not much of an outdoors runner on the best of days so I struggle on good days to keep up. Circuits is my cup of tea, throw me a mixed bag of burpees, tuck jumps and a variety of cardio and resistence and I'm happy as a clam. Weight training really isn't my thing but I had good physical results last go round when I threw it into the mix so I'm keeping it in, especially as it's right after circuits.
Thursday's instructor Laura is the epitome of what one expects from a fitness instructor: smiley, bubbly, bouncy, in top shape with lots of positive shouting and a dash of 'woo!'. I do an hour at lunchtime with her and have started to throw in an hour in the evening classes to get me over the 5 to 7 PM bridge.
The last time I went on an extended alcohol free stretch, I was doing well on the eating front also. It came up on a Thursday and feeling all sweaty and hitting it hard and I actually felt great. Not struggling to sweat out a hangover but full of energy and power, feeling lighter as I had just shed 2 kilos.
So this feeling is what I'm driving toward this week.
So run club tonight, I may stay on for Zumba after with Laura if there is space as that will get me past 7 PM by the time I get home and eat dinner. Tuesday will be another sporty day, so another reason to stay off it tonight.
Wednesday is normally date night but my work set up an 8 PM meeting. I am strict on avoiding prior to work calls. I try to avoid night calls but working for a US multinational while living in Europe, some are inevitable. A new regular call is starting up for a new project on Tuesdays at 9 PM starting next week. In some ways that one will be a mixed blessing as that will take care of my Tuesday evenings.
So Monday and Wednesday should be easy nights this week, just Tuesday to step over on the way to Thursday awesomeness.
Sunday, 10 July 2016
A wine free Sunday
It hasn't happened so often in recent weeks, going to bed clear headed, ready for tomorrow's hour in the gym at lunchtime and run club in the evening.
OH even brought along wine on his way home. My wine.
However, I had mentally decided earlier to take today off from it. I packed my day with other activities to get me past 6 PM as he was out cycling with his friends. I do some freelance writing and had a deadline today to keep me busy. Then he arrived with vegetables from the garden allotment and I was quite hungry and didn't want to drink on an empty stomach and I'm not fond of wine with food, I find it impacts the taste of food too much.
By the time we finished eating it was after 7. So I watched him down a bottle of wine over the rest of the evening, and that was ok.
I had bought a bottle of wine yesterday and he had brought along a second one thinking I was drinking as it's Sunday. So I am in my house with two bottles of wine and not tempted.
Next to Sunday, Monday tends to be my most difficult day, so tomorrow will be the test. Monday and Tuesday are my hardest gym days so really I should get more focused to not drink in the evenings before. Time will tell.
OH even brought along wine on his way home. My wine.
However, I had mentally decided earlier to take today off from it. I packed my day with other activities to get me past 6 PM as he was out cycling with his friends. I do some freelance writing and had a deadline today to keep me busy. Then he arrived with vegetables from the garden allotment and I was quite hungry and didn't want to drink on an empty stomach and I'm not fond of wine with food, I find it impacts the taste of food too much.
By the time we finished eating it was after 7. So I watched him down a bottle of wine over the rest of the evening, and that was ok.
I had bought a bottle of wine yesterday and he had brought along a second one thinking I was drinking as it's Sunday. So I am in my house with two bottles of wine and not tempted.
Next to Sunday, Monday tends to be my most difficult day, so tomorrow will be the test. Monday and Tuesday are my hardest gym days so really I should get more focused to not drink in the evenings before. Time will tell.
Friday, 8 July 2016
Tough work week
So not a good wine week. My only saving grace was to replace wine with prosecco, saving 100 calories per bottle. Also it seems that the fizziness fills me up more so I drink less. A silver lining in every cloud.
As I soldier on with my log, Friday tends to be my least destructive evening. I don't feel the need to unwind excessively and we usually go to the garden allotment on Saturday morning so I like to be bright and breezy.
I've done a full run of fitness classes this week and hit a new high of exercise minutes but it was tough slogging. I held steady at 57.3 kilos despite all the wine/fizzy due to the exercise. One of the main instructors has been on holiday this week so I've varied up my classes but will be back at my routine starting Monday. In particular, the dreaded run club is on the agenda which I struggle with on a normal day, never mind the feeling awful days.
I continue to struggle excessively with my job. The company is in the middle of a major spinoff and everything is in chaos. My job went downhill in 2009 when internal politics created an equivalent team to ours in another department and I had to even give them two of our team members to staff it. That team has proven ineffective and they fired half and all have left over time. So we ended up doing a lot of the work that we did before but we're no longer responsible for it and we're not allowed to contact the end customer. And now we've lost 1/3 of our team due to the new divestiture.
My skills are going stale. I manage a good set of people and the larger team that I belong to is top notch. My boss is superb. I work in technology which is a good fit for my personality. However, the work isn't there anymore. The things that I need to do I do efficiently and quickly so that I can slack off the rest of the day (I work from home). Nothing that I do matters.
I've worked at home since prior to 2009 and was productive and busy. I cannot help but think that if I had a proper job where I was needed and could make a difference that I wouldn't be so quick to slip into wine o'clock. In the olden days Friday and Saturday were the days to kick back. Currently I am in the reverse, Friday and Saturday are my least alcohol fueled days while the remainder are not, with a particular shout out to Sunday and Monday.
OH did an early start so that he could go to the local beer festival. I'm not really a major beer drinker so am letting that one slide. Instead, having a bit of a clear out here. I have been getting rid of a number of possessions via the Marie Kondo methodology. Seeking to improve my life on multiple fronts.
As I soldier on with my log, Friday tends to be my least destructive evening. I don't feel the need to unwind excessively and we usually go to the garden allotment on Saturday morning so I like to be bright and breezy.
I've done a full run of fitness classes this week and hit a new high of exercise minutes but it was tough slogging. I held steady at 57.3 kilos despite all the wine/fizzy due to the exercise. One of the main instructors has been on holiday this week so I've varied up my classes but will be back at my routine starting Monday. In particular, the dreaded run club is on the agenda which I struggle with on a normal day, never mind the feeling awful days.
I continue to struggle excessively with my job. The company is in the middle of a major spinoff and everything is in chaos. My job went downhill in 2009 when internal politics created an equivalent team to ours in another department and I had to even give them two of our team members to staff it. That team has proven ineffective and they fired half and all have left over time. So we ended up doing a lot of the work that we did before but we're no longer responsible for it and we're not allowed to contact the end customer. And now we've lost 1/3 of our team due to the new divestiture.
My skills are going stale. I manage a good set of people and the larger team that I belong to is top notch. My boss is superb. I work in technology which is a good fit for my personality. However, the work isn't there anymore. The things that I need to do I do efficiently and quickly so that I can slack off the rest of the day (I work from home). Nothing that I do matters.
I've worked at home since prior to 2009 and was productive and busy. I cannot help but think that if I had a proper job where I was needed and could make a difference that I wouldn't be so quick to slip into wine o'clock. In the olden days Friday and Saturday were the days to kick back. Currently I am in the reverse, Friday and Saturday are my least alcohol fueled days while the remainder are not, with a particular shout out to Sunday and Monday.
OH did an early start so that he could go to the local beer festival. I'm not really a major beer drinker so am letting that one slide. Instead, having a bit of a clear out here. I have been getting rid of a number of possessions via the Marie Kondo methodology. Seeking to improve my life on multiple fronts.
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